1:30pm – 9:27pm. I am sitting here trying to craft the perfect biography. Everything I want on here is and will be meticulously thought out so you think I’m a fascinating human being living this lavish eclectic life. Isn’t that what biographies do? Highlight, bold and quote the fine print that no one really wants to read? Here’s what we’re going to do instead; We’re going to skip all the formalities and dive in head first. You came here for more, didn’t you? So let’s move past the Tinder profile because I know you want the good stuff. Instead of me telling you I secretly hoard black pens and much prefer foods to be extra hot, you’re going to be that fly on the wall. You get the raw unfiltered version of myself that not many people see. Here are some coffee shop conversations I’ve had with some of my favourite human beings that just might give you some insight into the way I think. Unless someone tells me otherwise, this is me in a nutshell. Enjoy.
“Why do you work so much? You gotta chill.”
I actually chill all the time. I just prefer playing Ultimate Frisbee with my students and running 5kms over the conventional Netflix in bed. I work so much so I can hold myself accountable for the effort that’s put in. What’s better than a pat on your own back? And despite popular belief, I do have a healthy social life. Not many people can say that they 100% love their job; I can say I’m pretty damn close.
That’s a great observation!
“You know you are a hard person to reach right?”
Yeah, that’s a pretty accurate statement. Are you talking about figuratively or physically?
“How are you still single?”
I think all my energy is going into not asking that question.
“You know you don’t have to win at everything.”
You know there’s no purpose otherwise.
“You do realize that one of these days your sarcasm is going to get you in trouble.”
Is it really my fault that the person I’m talking to doesn’t have a sense of humour?
“Do you wear any other colour besides black/grey?”
I would if I owned other colours.
“You look like a black hole.”
You say that like it’s a bad thing.
“Why are you so blunt?”
I don’t know how to answer that. I guess I’ve come to the realization that the truth never comes out when I sugarcoat things. We overthink things when we consider people’s feelings because we want to protect them. But why spend 10 minutes saying something that can be said in 2? You might as well just say it so messages aren’t misconstrued. And the added sarcasm, well, it just elevates the conversation. Who doesn’t love a little snarkiness?
So that’s pretty much me on repeat. I’d give more but we’re just starting to get to know each other. Also, I can neither confirm nor deny the fabrication of the aforementioned conversations; but for the most part, it’s pretty accurate.